On Distress, Fatigue and Discouragement…

Heartbreakingly beautiful. I see and feel this over a hundred years into the future from when it was created.

“I am distressed, almost discouraged, and fatigued to the point of feeling slightly ill. What I am doing is no good, and in spite of your confidence I am very much afraid that my efforts will all lead to nothing.” – Claude Monet

I’m particularly attracted to this quote this morning, as I’m typing to you from a 350 acre horse farm. I’m surrounded by beauty and quiet, changing landscape and beautiful creatures. Horses, robins, gophers, coyotes, hawks, seagulls, ravens, grackles, growing grass…Last night, we had one of those stunning sunsets that stops you in your tracks and causes you to pause and wonder at the beauty of the world.

This morning, while the family was sleeping, I walked out into the herd and soaked it all in. The morning light and gentle nickering of hellos from the horses was different from the setting sun over the mountains and the startling yip yip of the coyotes, perhaps a little too bold and close to our humble little trailer on the prairie. Morning and evening, night and day – the same and yet so different.

I’m enthralled by the changing light, fields and skies out here. Stunned so much, that at times I find everything so beautiful, I don’t feel as though I can ever capture it. 

I feel like Monet – what is the point of it all? It will never feel as though it is like what I see. The beauty is paralyzing and I feel incompetent. I feel this way in creating these online courses and communities, but I’m heartened at your engagement and enthusiasm. It is in the ‘trying’ and ‘doing’ that we find release, and to be honest, I don’t think you can be like Monet – fearful that efforts will lead to nothing. 

All efforts have value and when we DO, we create and nothing is more beautiful or closer to spirit than creating.

Read this article, and look at the beauty of the haystack paintings and changing light.They are all so different and yet so beautiful and seemingly effortless in their execution. Who cares what they sell for?

……Claude, I hope you are reading this. You touch me and your efforts have led to that over one hundred years in the future.

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